My Life as a PK

Racism, Misogyny, and Bullies in the Christian Church

In my decolonization journey, my adoption has been the main story I have been trying to heal, but the story that goes hand-in-hand with my adoption is my relationship with the Church. And in my case, it is the Protestant Christian Church (Lutheran + Presbyterian) and its followers. When my Mom adopted me, she was 33 years old, single, working as the Associate/Youth Pastor at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Viroqua, WI, and living in the church’s parsonage (house owned by the church for the pastor).

From the minute I was adopted, I also adopted the identity as a PK “Pastor’s Kid”. Although my Mom was never overly religious at home and never forced a particular belief system onto me, a choice to try to give me a sense of “normalcy,” the presence of the church always played a role in how I was perceived by others, and mostly adults in my life. As a young girl, I felt like I was expected to be a “good girl” who didn’t rock the boat or bring any extra attention to myself. I was comfortable in that role and always tried to make myself blend in, rather than stand out. As I got older, however, I felt this deep desire to speak out against the racism, misogyny, homophobia, and bullying that I witnessed within the church. But in order to protect my Mom and her job, I swallowed my tongue and stayed silent.

My First Church Experience

Good Shepherd Lutheran Church is located in Viroqua, WI, a small, rural farming town with a population less than 5,000 people. Ninety percent of the population identifies as White, and many families have ancestry from Germany and Norway. Interestingly, I just learned that the town was originally named “Farwell,” after the 2nd governor of Wisconsin, but was renamed in 1854 to “Viroqua” without any clear reason why. Growing up there, I always heard a local legend explaining that Viroqua was the name of a Native American “princess,” daughter of Chief Black Hawk, but that has been debunked.

So, let’s just say -

being adopted by single mother into a German/English American family and growing up in a majority White farming town with problematic histories, while also not fully knowing my own ethnic makeup as a mixed race Filipina was confusing to say the least.